its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
