I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
