I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize