Who did Billy Mays play for?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
