i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
