What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
