Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
