Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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