was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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