If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
