the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
