beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
