I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
