Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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