I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
