We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
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official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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