who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize