i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Acid is not a monday night drug
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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