thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
