She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
