why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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