is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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