The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
