He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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