I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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