We won't sleep together?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked