C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.