hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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