My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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