I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
home. puking in laundry basket.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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