The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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