all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
