You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize