Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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