It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
