right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
