no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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