I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
