My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.