Texts From Last Night

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  (325): View more from Texas

  Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?

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  (325): Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis? http://tfl.nu/utwq
  Replies (152) Good night (747) Bad night (5443)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

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  (937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. http://tfl.nu/2r1d
  Replies (9) Good night (695) Bad night (3655)
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  (949): View more from California

  if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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  (949): if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/ia7j
  Replies (28) Good night (9016) Bad night (1065)
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  (619): View more from California

  Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

  (1-619): View more from California

  I am not bailing you of of jail

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  (619): Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now.. (1-619): I am not bailing you of of jail http://tfl.nu/exjk
  Replies (19) Good night (6371) Bad night (1196)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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  (678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex
  Replies (24) Good night (5944) Bad night (1203)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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  (602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w
  Replies (20) Good night (5433) Bad night (1203)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.

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  (612): This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me. http://tfl.nu/1k6h
  Replies (19) Good night (1163) Bad night (3417)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks

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  (224): dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks http://tfl.nu/taq1
  Replies (6) Good night (690) Bad night (1899)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

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  (828): Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog. http://tfl.nu/3nqo
  Replies (4) Good night (2143) Bad night (772)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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  (479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko
  Replies (26) Good night (933) Bad night (1737)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is

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  (715): i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is http://tfl.nu/reex
  Replies (19) Good night (1395) Bad night (719)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS

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  (717): Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS http://tfl.nu/pbtw
  Replies (19) Good night (1055) Bad night (2211)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?

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  (830): I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy? http://tfl.nu/wl4s
  Replies (13) Good night (2262) Bad night (485)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  YES.

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  (513): People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join? (1-513): YES. http://tfl.nu/e51l
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad

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  (914): I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad http://tfl.nu/el2g
  Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (224)

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