Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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  (203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck
  Replies (27) Good night (6186) Bad night (1072)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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  (814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac
  Replies (10) Good night (3493) Bad night (1171)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.

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  (651): He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old. http://tfl.nu/87vs
  Replies (11) Good night (2074) Bad night (1293)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.

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  (647): Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference. http://tfl.nu/9fcx
  Replies (7) Good night (2375) Bad night (1263)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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  (425): He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that http://tfl.nu/3z2y
  Replies (14) Good night (759) Bad night (2155)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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  (260): Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/8iit
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (1910)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me

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  (573): Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me http://tfl.nu/lmhn
  Replies (7) Good night (1868) Bad night (701)
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  (916): View more from California

  I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.

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  (916): I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house. http://tfl.nu/a7ly
  Replies (3) Good night (1377) Bad night (669)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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  (202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft
  Replies (3) Good night (1128) Bad night (578)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.

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  (864): Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you. http://tfl.nu/7af4
  Replies (5) Good night (450) Bad night (1036)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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  (217): Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons. http://tfl.nu/9jo6
  Replies (9) Good night (1517) Bad night (736)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.

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  (860): The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/fj2u
  Replies (7) Good night (551) Bad night (334)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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  (613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7
  Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (294)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..

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  (973): I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter.. http://tfl.nu/t4wg
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (523)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them

  (386): View more from Florida

  Tequila 1 marriage 0

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  (813): He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them (386): Tequila 1 marriage 0 http://tfl.nu/qbt7
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (666)

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