she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.