Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs

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  (313): Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs http://tfl.nu/nept
  Replies (12) Good night (2868) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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  (323): At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands. http://tfl.nu/8842
  Replies (13) Good night (1554) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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  (352): I just got invited to go home with a married couple... http://tfl.nu/0i8n
  Replies (12) Good night (5777) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wish you could fill a pinata with booze

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  (307): i wish you could fill a pinata with booze http://tfl.nu/eyoz
  Replies (49) Good night (5007) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

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  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14957) Bad night (1914)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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  (408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0
  Replies (25) Good night (3625) Bad night (6225)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.

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  (630): He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses. http://tfl.nu/2f5f
  Replies (15) Good night (1744) Bad night (4683)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places

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  (203): She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places http://tfl.nu/q4g8
  Replies (7) Good night (5547) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...

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  (405): please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin... http://tfl.nu/m01o
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1964)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?

  (408): View more from California

  JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.

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  (902): Is this a genuine concern or are you just high? (408): JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN. http://tfl.nu/lbkb
  Replies (5) Good night (3829) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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  (614): just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible http://tfl.nu/tr7j
  Replies (1) Good night (1490) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought

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  (845): He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought http://tfl.nu/z4p7
  Replies (7) Good night (2799) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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  (314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9
  Replies (11) Good night (663) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

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  (410): Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI. (1-410): Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return. http://tfl.nu/zi1i
  Replies (10) Good night (955) Bad night (1964)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.

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  (304): I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation. http://tfl.nu/s759
  Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (258)

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