Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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  (737): You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot? (1-737): That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there (737): It's my parent's restaurant http://tfl.nu/0xzo
  Replies (8) Good night (987) Bad night (2634)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.

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  (574): I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself. http://tfl.nu/2lez
  Replies (24) Good night (1099) Bad night (7136)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

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  (952): well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning. http://tfl.nu/jye2
  Replies (14) Good night (5509) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

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  (918): they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks http://tfl.nu/5j5t
  Replies (27) Good night (1189) Bad night (7056)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.

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  (402): I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying. http://tfl.nu/o8p1
  Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (2803)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.

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  (702): So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers. http://tfl.nu/tlh4
  Replies (11) Good night (667) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.

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  (409): Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager. http://tfl.nu/h00w
  Replies (8) Good night (4730) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

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  (614): I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar http://tfl.nu/g47h
  Replies (7) Good night (1823) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it

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  (250): Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it http://tfl.nu/v02x
  Replies (11) Good night (737) Bad night (1911)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone

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  (336): I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone http://tfl.nu/escl
  Replies (6) Good night (1233) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."

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  (617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes." http://tfl.nu/5alc
  Replies (31) Good night (3360) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation

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  (931): I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation http://tfl.nu/adcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2038) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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  (910): I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!" http://tfl.nu/ji9a
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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  (630): I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/45h3
  Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?

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  (908): When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants? http://tfl.nu/e2e7
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (222)

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