I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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