is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
