I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
