He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Welp...herpes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
BRING THE BAGELS
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
