Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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