Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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