This girl is more easily done than said...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
