I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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