he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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