I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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