He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
