Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
