chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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