Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dicks are not precious.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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