Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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